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Forget your head if it wasn't screwed on

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Generated image of a woman with no head leaving her house
The idiom "Forget your head if it wasn't screwed on" (or "would lose my head if it wasn't attached", or similar variations) is a funny way of saying someone is extremely forgetful, absent-minded or loses things a lot, suggesting that if their head wasn't attached to their body they'd forget that too.

You lost your keys again? You'd lose your head if it wasnt screwed on!

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