Thick as two short planks

Generated image of two planks
If someone is as thick as two short planks, it means they are very slow to understand things or seem quite foolish. The phrase is usually used in a joking or slightly rude way to say that someone is not very clever.

The idiom compares a person's thinking to two pieces of wood, suggesting there is not much going on in their head. People often say it in a playful or sarcastic tone when someone misses something obvious.

I had to explain the instructions three times before he admitted he felt thick as two short planks.